A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a feeling of control over her destiny.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Love Being Single...
Celebrate your independence..
Being in love is a wonderful experience - but that doesn't mean being single has to be a terrible thing. In fact, if you embrace your "singlehood" with the right attitude, you can turn it into one of the most exciting, empowering times of your life.
That doesn't mean there won't be challenging emotional times (like maybe holidays and Sunday's), where you feel lonely - but remember, you can be terribly alone in the wrong relationship, too. So just try and remember these five things to love while you're single:
Love your body
Don't wait until the right person comes along to start taking care of your body. While you're single you can devote more time and energy to taking care of your physical needs - from healthy eating and exercising to relaxing and resting. And being single doesn't mean you can't take care of your sexual needs either - learning to love yourself is a gift you'll enjoy the rest of your life!
Love your mind
Like it or not, spending time with a partner means less time for you - and it's often your mind that gets shortchanged. Use your independence as a time to stimulate your mind again. Read a book, take a class, write a poem. Do whatever it takes to get your mental juices flowing. It will help you love yourself - and your single life - a whole lot more. Plus, reading in a public place like a park or cafe or talking about what you're reading at a party is very sexy and may attract someone special to you!
Love your spirit
When you're in a relationship, you often feel connected to a higher power through your love for your partner. But when you're single, life sometimes feels empty and lonely. Instead of dwelling in that, reach out to an experience that will make your spirit feel alive. Whether you find a religious fellowship, begin a mediation practice, or volunteer for a local charity, connecting your spirit to the universe is a key part to loving being single.
Love your friends and family
One of the most challenging aspects of a committed relationship is balancing couple time and hang out time with friends and family (especially at the holidays). Even the most well-adjusted couple can find that balance to be a challenging compromise. But when you're single, all you have to balance is "me time" with everyone else time. So rather than longing for a partner, cherish the time you have with your favorite people - your friends, family and, of course - yourself!
Love your freedom
At the end of the day, the very best part of being single is being able to focus on you - and do what you want. That means organizing the bathroom any way you want, painting your closet hot pink, or rearranging the room every night if you want. Not feeling up to a night out? Then stay in and eat ice cream! Don't want to clean the apartment? Then stay in bed reading or talking on the phone to old friends all day. Not interested in the latest action movie? Then hit a romantic drama and cry your eyes out. It's totally up to you and you don't need anyone else's approval to do it.
The beauty of being single is not having to compromise. Plus it gives you time to explore your artistic side and figure out who you really are and what you really want and desire. Just remember to enjoy every moment and decision you make on your own.
Being in love is a wonderful experience - but that doesn't mean being single has to be a terrible thing. In fact, if you embrace your "singlehood" with the right attitude, you can turn it into one of the most exciting, empowering times of your life.
That doesn't mean there won't be challenging emotional times (like maybe holidays and Sunday's), where you feel lonely - but remember, you can be terribly alone in the wrong relationship, too. So just try and remember these five things to love while you're single:
Love your body
Don't wait until the right person comes along to start taking care of your body. While you're single you can devote more time and energy to taking care of your physical needs - from healthy eating and exercising to relaxing and resting. And being single doesn't mean you can't take care of your sexual needs either - learning to love yourself is a gift you'll enjoy the rest of your life!
Love your mind
Like it or not, spending time with a partner means less time for you - and it's often your mind that gets shortchanged. Use your independence as a time to stimulate your mind again. Read a book, take a class, write a poem. Do whatever it takes to get your mental juices flowing. It will help you love yourself - and your single life - a whole lot more. Plus, reading in a public place like a park or cafe or talking about what you're reading at a party is very sexy and may attract someone special to you!
Love your spirit
When you're in a relationship, you often feel connected to a higher power through your love for your partner. But when you're single, life sometimes feels empty and lonely. Instead of dwelling in that, reach out to an experience that will make your spirit feel alive. Whether you find a religious fellowship, begin a mediation practice, or volunteer for a local charity, connecting your spirit to the universe is a key part to loving being single.
Love your friends and family
One of the most challenging aspects of a committed relationship is balancing couple time and hang out time with friends and family (especially at the holidays). Even the most well-adjusted couple can find that balance to be a challenging compromise. But when you're single, all you have to balance is "me time" with everyone else time. So rather than longing for a partner, cherish the time you have with your favorite people - your friends, family and, of course - yourself!
Love your freedom
At the end of the day, the very best part of being single is being able to focus on you - and do what you want. That means organizing the bathroom any way you want, painting your closet hot pink, or rearranging the room every night if you want. Not feeling up to a night out? Then stay in and eat ice cream! Don't want to clean the apartment? Then stay in bed reading or talking on the phone to old friends all day. Not interested in the latest action movie? Then hit a romantic drama and cry your eyes out. It's totally up to you and you don't need anyone else's approval to do it.
The beauty of being single is not having to compromise. Plus it gives you time to explore your artistic side and figure out who you really are and what you really want and desire. Just remember to enjoy every moment and decision you make on your own.
Cut Your Losses In LOVE...
Know when it's time to go..
We all want to believe in love, in the idea that love can last forever. The truth is - it can. But, not every relationship is meant to last forever. So how do you know when it's right to break up? Usually when your head, or heart, is telling you to.
Breaking up is never fun, no matter what the reason. It doesn't matter if you're doing the leaving or the one being left - mental, emotional, and often financial anguish can fill your being with despair. The transition from couple to single is a major change, and this decision usually doesn't come about lightly. Often, the fear of the unknown, or the fear of being alone, can pull you to want to stay. If you think that staying in a relationship might be easier, you could be right - but ask yourself, is easier necessarily better?
Assessing your relationship
From friendships to lovers, relationships are supposed to enhance your life. Every relationship is bound to experience troubling times, but not every relationship has the ability to survive. Sometimes, it depends on how bad you want it - or want out. So, if you are thinking about a breakup, be honest with yourself and look at why.
Happy factors?
Most people have at least a little list of annoyances and imperfections regarding their partners and relationships. After all, no one is perfect! However, along with the bad, there should be a longer list of good things - things that you like, love, or make you happy. If your happy list keeps coming up short, then it might be time for you to go.
Lost that loving feeling
People fall out of love. Some people were never in love to begin with. Either way, when the passion fades, fantasies of freedom can preoccupy the mind. Your partner may be the most awesome person, possibly head over heals in love with you. It's quite the complicated quandary. If you can live like this, the relationship may endure. However, if you can't, you know what must be done. It is completely your choice.
Significant issues that lead to a breakup are usually the ones with no middle ground. As an example, you may desperately want children or a family and your partner adamantly doesn't. This can be a time-sensitive issue. If you aren't willing to change your stance, why would you expect your partner to concede. The clock will continue ticking and you could lose the window of opportunity if you stick around with the expectation that they will change.
Money matters
Money is often a huge consideration in relationships. Many people will forego personal happiness for the security of the all-mighty dollar. That's a choice. However there is a flip-side to the equation if your partner is a financial detriment. Some people just aren't willing to carry their fair share of financial responsibility. If the benefits of the relationship outweigh the fiscal drain, then continue merrily on your way. But if your relationship is unfulfilling and dragging your into the poorhouse, it may be time to go.
Lifestyle differences
Drugs and alcohol can become major problems in a relationship. Just because the two of you partied till dawn in your 20's, doesn't mean that it fits your lifestyle now. When one person chooses to walk the straight and narrow and the other still parties hard, it usually causes a rift in what was once common ground. Whether you've changed your habits or your partner has, there is no guarantee of tolerance from either side.
Know when to run
If you are in an abusive relationship, whether it is mental, physical, or emotional - it most certainly is time for you to go. One occurrence is one time too many, but a pattern of occurrences is a big red flag waving for you to get set and go.
Whether your reasons for ending a relationship are clear or murky, no one feels really good about being the one to say goodbye. If you are in a relationship that drains you, no longer serves you, or just plain doesn't feel right - it's okay to accept that it didn't work out, and go your separate ways. Much of the process is simply based on you - what you want, don't want, or how you feel.
We all want to believe in love, in the idea that love can last forever. The truth is - it can. But, not every relationship is meant to last forever. So how do you know when it's right to break up? Usually when your head, or heart, is telling you to.
Breaking up is never fun, no matter what the reason. It doesn't matter if you're doing the leaving or the one being left - mental, emotional, and often financial anguish can fill your being with despair. The transition from couple to single is a major change, and this decision usually doesn't come about lightly. Often, the fear of the unknown, or the fear of being alone, can pull you to want to stay. If you think that staying in a relationship might be easier, you could be right - but ask yourself, is easier necessarily better?
Assessing your relationship
From friendships to lovers, relationships are supposed to enhance your life. Every relationship is bound to experience troubling times, but not every relationship has the ability to survive. Sometimes, it depends on how bad you want it - or want out. So, if you are thinking about a breakup, be honest with yourself and look at why.
Happy factors?
Most people have at least a little list of annoyances and imperfections regarding their partners and relationships. After all, no one is perfect! However, along with the bad, there should be a longer list of good things - things that you like, love, or make you happy. If your happy list keeps coming up short, then it might be time for you to go.
Lost that loving feeling
People fall out of love. Some people were never in love to begin with. Either way, when the passion fades, fantasies of freedom can preoccupy the mind. Your partner may be the most awesome person, possibly head over heals in love with you. It's quite the complicated quandary. If you can live like this, the relationship may endure. However, if you can't, you know what must be done. It is completely your choice.
Significant issues that lead to a breakup are usually the ones with no middle ground. As an example, you may desperately want children or a family and your partner adamantly doesn't. This can be a time-sensitive issue. If you aren't willing to change your stance, why would you expect your partner to concede. The clock will continue ticking and you could lose the window of opportunity if you stick around with the expectation that they will change.
Money matters
Money is often a huge consideration in relationships. Many people will forego personal happiness for the security of the all-mighty dollar. That's a choice. However there is a flip-side to the equation if your partner is a financial detriment. Some people just aren't willing to carry their fair share of financial responsibility. If the benefits of the relationship outweigh the fiscal drain, then continue merrily on your way. But if your relationship is unfulfilling and dragging your into the poorhouse, it may be time to go.
Lifestyle differences
Drugs and alcohol can become major problems in a relationship. Just because the two of you partied till dawn in your 20's, doesn't mean that it fits your lifestyle now. When one person chooses to walk the straight and narrow and the other still parties hard, it usually causes a rift in what was once common ground. Whether you've changed your habits or your partner has, there is no guarantee of tolerance from either side.
Know when to run
If you are in an abusive relationship, whether it is mental, physical, or emotional - it most certainly is time for you to go. One occurrence is one time too many, but a pattern of occurrences is a big red flag waving for you to get set and go.
Whether your reasons for ending a relationship are clear or murky, no one feels really good about being the one to say goodbye. If you are in a relationship that drains you, no longer serves you, or just plain doesn't feel right - it's okay to accept that it didn't work out, and go your separate ways. Much of the process is simply based on you - what you want, don't want, or how you feel.
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